I am begining to realise that humans are meant to enquire about each other. That's a basic tenet of conversation.
It tells them that you're interested in them. It tells them that you care for them enough by taking the time out to learn more about what they do, who they are, what they like, what they are passionate about and what they are not.
Understanding deeper things. Also understanding things deeper. Starting with simpler things in life. Like their favorite tea, joint, book, their values, picnic spot and such others.
What's more important is to have a conversation. Be willing to converse. At times even when you don't seem to have a common topic.
Its about social objects. As Hugh MacLeod states on gapingvoid.com, social object is any reason why two people are talking to one another, rather than someone else. What really matters is the conversation that happens over a social object. And I believe this is the essence of social media marketing and the whole of digital marketing, the field I belong to.
When I first learned this concept at gapingvoid.com, I applied it to study and market products. But as I type this, I realise that the concept of "social object" is so important for a reason - it is fundamental to the human nature. And that is why it matters.
I also realise you won't "automatically" know what others are interested in. And that is why you have to enquire.
It all starts with having a real conversation with the other person based on what you know. You converse a little. You learn and contribute mutually. You gather few more insights. You converse more. Perhaps you gain some fresh perspective on some other facet of that person. You converse deeper. And sooner than you realise, you have developed a meaningful relationship with the other person.
And building meaningful relations is again fundamental to the human nature. We've been doing that since the dawn of civilization.
So which new facet are you going to learn today?
Start a conversation, today. And it all starts with a simple, genuine enquiry.